PLEASE WATCH THESE OMG I DIED
my favorite thing about england is that the word pulp doesnt exist
THIS IS WHAT IM TALKIN ABOUT
Two 30 year old guys lip syncing a conversation between two 60 year old women.
i remember way too many small details about people so i have to act dumb sometimes so i don’t freak them out
I DIDN’T LEARN ABOUT THIS IN DRIVING SCHOOL
Stop says the red light, go says the green
Wait says the yellow light, twinkling in between.
KNEEL, SAYS THE DEMON LIGHT
WITH ITS EYE OF COAL
SAURON KNOWS YOUR LICENSE PLATE
AND STARES INTO YOUR SOUL
THIS IS ALWAYS FUNNY
Okay no. Fucking no. You think your sandwich is cute with peanut butter and jelly hearts, fucker? Well you’ll change your mind once you put it together and try to eat it. First you’ll get a mouthful of just bread and disappointment, then when you take another bite your mouth will be assaulted by copious the amounts of sticky peanut butter and sugary jelly and there won’t be enough bread to save you from it. A sandwich like that is what failure tastes like. The pb and j may be shaped like hearts but there’s no love in that sandwich. It’s about balance. Life needs balance, and so does your fucking sandwich. You disgust me. Don’t talk to me until you know how to make a proper sandwich.
me at the zoo:
where are the dragons
I thought I had mono for an entire year…
trying to figure out someone else’s shower